In her post on FAQautism.com, Cathy Knoll presents some valuable strategies to help a girl with autism overcome a meltdown triggered by a change in classroom routine. I have no doubt these strategies would also be useful outside the classroom for any kids.
In her 3rd strategy (below), she touches on an essential principle which I’d like to present you in more details.
3. Put it in Writing. Because this student’s rage escalates when others talk to her, the teachers might consider writing a few helpful phrases on index cards to hand her when she gets angry. For example, one could say, “Move to your Calm Down Chair,” and another could say, “You are very mad because we changed the schedule.” A third could say, “When you are calm and not angry, please sit at your desk.”
The girl has a tantrum because she is angry the schedule of the class has been changed. Handing her over a card with “You are very mad because we changed the schedule” acknowledges what she experiences, what’s going on with her at this moment. There’s no judgement. Just stating the fact. Stating what’s happening right now for the person you’re interacting with. That’s what pacing the current experience is.
Simple, isn’t it? Simple but powerful.
So, what happens when you acknowledge someone’s current experience?
You show you understand what’s going on for them. You recognise what is happening to them. It’s neither good or bad, it just is. By doing so, you amplify the connection in between you. You have a mutual understanding and an implicit trust can flourish.
Pacing the experience is an easy strategy to use. However, things getting tough, embarrassment kicking in, frustration rising high or feeling at the end of your tether can blind you in recognising what’s going on in your child’s world. What to do when that happened? It’s like the plane emergency actions – put your oxygen mask on first before assisting any child travelling with you -. That’s it, you need to take care of yourself first and get back in a state that allow you to deal effectively with the situation. In future posts, I’ll share easy tips to help you do that and pace with ease.
Before I conclude this post, as always, feel free to share your own experience or ask any question in the comment section of this blog.
Until next time.
With love,
Karine
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